Why is it so hard to believe?

I've had this happen before but for some reason it really got under my skin tonight...


I like to workout in the morning, before work, to start off my day on the right foot. Obviously, that doesn't always happen. This morning was one of those mornings, due to an early morning work webinar. So after a super long work day, I made it into the gym at about 7pm tonight. 2 years ago, this would have been where my excuses reared their ugly head and kept me from going in at all. But luckily, it is not 2 years ago ;)

The end result of coming in that late- I didn't see the same set of "usuals" that I do in the morning, but I go enough at random times to always recognize somebody at the YWCA at any given time, which is one of the reasons why I love the Y. Well, the whole point of this rambling tonight was a conversation I had with the Y receptionist when I was buying some personal training sessions. I always thought she was a nice lady and she even took my water aerobics class last year a couple times. Upon giving her my YWCA ID to pay for my PT sessions, she started going on and on about how she hasn't seen me around in months and I look so different since the last time I was in the Y. I very politely told her that I typically work out in the mornings and just because she hasn't seen me, doesn't mean I haven't been here. She gave me a look like I had lost my mind and said "Well, I thought you had quit, but it looks like you had weight loss surgery. After all, you couldn't have lost so much weight only on your own."

::insert fuming thoughts::

ummm....WHAT?

After mentally screaming, I smiled instead and told her that I didn't have weight loss surgery, and I have been eating healthy and exercising. She continued her disbelief by looking at me like I was crazy, scoffed at me, and mumbled something about "some fad diet." Luckily for me (and her), a friend from Saturday morning spin class walked up and started raiding the free cliff bar basket which got us talking about our love of cliff bars. All throughout talking, my heart was pounding and I wanted to cry.

This mentality that she illustrated is very frustrating. I know that when people say this, it's not meant as an insult- but to my brain that's easier said than done. I know that it typically shows how insecure they are with themselves because they don't think it could be possible to lose substantial weight because they have never been able to do it. Some people with this mentality are obese themselves and in denial about their ability to change their own lives.

A part of me feels sincerely sorry for these people- because I used to be there and I KNOW how it feels to be out of control of your own life. To have an addiction so bad that you eat to the point of feeling sick because you hate yourself. And then you eat again the next day in the same way because you are so depressed from all the weight you have gained and just don't care how it will affect your life, only that you want to keep binging. Obesity is a vicious cycle that is hard to break. All addictions are hard to beat, but with an alcohol or drug addiction you can simply quit that vice and never touch it again. Try quitting food and see how that works for you. ;)

All that being said, I am trying to get over this frustration, but it's hard. People that feel the need to question me and are then surprised that I was able to actually change my life without a drastic surgery hurts. And to add insult to injury- not believe me when I explain what I have done?! Why would I lie about it? Do you think this has been easy for me? HELL NO! Sometimes it feels like I am swimming up a raging, grade-5 river rapid. But, all the hard work has been worth it!

What have I done so differently? I have taken all of my previous excuses and thrown them out the window and instead grasped onto why I want to lose weight ---> because I want to be healthy and live a long and happy life. I was sick of being sick and tired all the time! Finally I have complete control of my life and my happiness and I am not letting go!!