I am hardcore!

I totally rocked the spin a thon today! While some people might think I was crazy (including myself leading into it) I'm so glad I took the challenge on and approached it with an attitude that only 100% would do.

Today was the YWCA's 1st annual spin a thon- 6 hours of spinning with some awesome instructors. It was 10-5 today- yeah that's 7 hours. There was 6 one hour spin classes with 10 minute breaks in between. The breaks definitely saved us, especially "the 3 muskateers" as Lisa dubbed us during the last class since there were only 3 people that did the entire 6 hours- Rick, Mary, and myself.

Overall, the day was better than I was expecting. Jen, the organizer, did a great job having a wide selection of snacks and plenty of water of course as well as leading her class, which was the second one. Each class was also really varied which broke it up nicely. The most amusing was Eric's- #3. He was one of only 2 spin instructors that I haven't taken and I can definitely see why people like him so much and his class is always over filled. He was hilarious and very encouraging throughout, but called a few people out that weren't pushing it. He called me out several times saying my form was perfect (holy red face) and was giving the 3 muskateers major props for committing to stick through all 6 classes. He said a lot of really nice and encouraging words that helped me get through the complete agony that occurred during class 4- Tammie. I take her Wednesday morning 6am class (love it!) so I knew what to expect- no mercy.

I was feeling really good till about half way through Tammie's class. That was when I realized that I really hadn't eaten enough (a couple bananas and orange slices) and my reserves were completed depleted. Through sheer will power and complete refusal to quit, I made it through Tammie's class and could barely get off the bike fast enough to get food afterwards. I have never felt such extreme and immediate relief after gulping down power gel- it was amazing.

So end result- I KILLED class 5, Betsy's. I've taken her before- a killer class with lots of sprints and standing runs (similar to Tammie). Class flew by because even though I could feel every single muscle in my legs, back, and glutes (holy pain!) in a beautifully painful way, I had the energy to push through it. There were a few new entrants also and they were all amazed by the fact that the 3 muskateers were still going. A little bit of pressure always makes me feel even stronger.

After class 5 I was stretching and went to do a quad stretch when my left knee screamed at me. Like screamed at the top of its lungs. I immediately dropped to the ground to stretch further and massage my knee. Miraculously the pain eased and I was able to stand and walk around with no pain after about 10 minutes. Thank goodness- I really wanted to finish, but I had already decided that I would stop if the pain didn't subside.

Class 6, Lisa, was fun as she is always full of bubbly energy, which is infectious. I will admit though that I was counting down the minutes until we were done and the last 5 minutes was pure and complete muscle exhaustion.

Adrian was awesome and supportive and came to cheer me on at the end- husband brownie points! :) All in all it was a great day and I'm proud of myself! :)

These meds hate me...or maybe they love me?

I couple weeks ago I was finally able to have an appointment with an orthopedic specialist to evaluate my tennis elbow. It got moved back several times because of the crappy first two weeks of this year.

After getting a TON of cortisone injected into my elbow (we are talking 5-6 ccs which is lot and HURT) he also gave me some other things to do (a specific stretch and this carpal tunnel brace to wear at night) and...dun dun dun....huge "hardcore" meds as he called it. My tummy didn't respond pretty much at all with the previous NSAID prescription, which he said is a good sign. The he said what my doctor has prescribed me just wasn't going to nip it in the bud considering how much pain I had and the extent of damage (yikes). He basically warned me that this medication would suck and that under NO exceptions should I ever take it on an empty stomach or even if I skipped a single meal in between. I instantly agreed to everything because he asked me straight out if I wanted to stop this pain quickly or slowly. Why wouldn't I want immediate gratification? ps- I like this Dr, he was very straight forward and kinda funny even though I've heard that some people don't like him.

So after less than a week after cortisone +medication my elbow pain went from a pain scale of 8 (on a scale of 1-10) to a 5 and now it's very low. HALLELUIAH!

The only problem...he was right about this darn NSAID. It makes my stomach feel terrible- at times actually causing me to double over in pain. This past weekend I had to skip a dose because I was drinking my calories in the form of shots not eating them (yeah, yeah I occasionally make bad decisions, but I am only human and need to cut loose sometimes :P In my defense though I worked them all off in the form of dancing). So, like a good patient I skipped a dose Saturday morning and another Sunday night because there wasn't enough time in between doses to take it with food. So since Monday I have been back on full swing normal schedule of twice a day.

It's like I am restarting the medication from scratch after finally feeling normal again. Yeargh!! I've eaten even better than I have in probably months- very light, only whole fresh ingredients and still, my stomach is killing. The one good thing about your stomach bothering you- you have no appetite. Despite the alcohol consumption Friday night, I lost 3.2 lbs this week! holy crapola!! As a source of update, I am now down 213 lbs! I am only 42 lbs away from my doctor goal!

I honestly can't believe I just wrote that- I am so close to goal I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel! Just last night I was in dress barn picking out some new shirts for my conference in Phoenix that I'm leaving for Monday morning. I fully broke down in the dressing room. It's hard to believe how far I have come when I was too big to fit into normal women's plus. Now I'm in a misses L, pant size 14! This totally blows my freaking mind that I am still overwhelmed by it. Now that goal of a size 10 isn't so far off- I will get there!

Awesome weekend

What a totally awesome weekend! Saturday I burned a ton more calories than I ate, which should result in a good loss this week on the scale if I keep it up....or my body could hate me and hold onto like it does sometimes ;)

It snowed about 4 inches Friday night so I woke up to a text from Emily letting me know that the Y was opening 2 hours late- which was good since it took me about an hour to dig out my car. My elbows held out pretty well because I took it much slower and smaller shovels than I normally would and took breaks and stretched when my arms were getting tired. And don't get mad and ask why my hubby didn't do it- he would have if I had waited until he woke up to go to DE. I could have just walked to the gym and not shoveled (aka wasting 2 hours of my life doing nothing). But enter exhibit A- I hate feeling totally useless with this injury and B- I wanted to see if my elbow could handle a little lifting without over doing it. Given the fact that right now my arms feel fine, I don't think I did any further damage. I did ice both arms off and on for 2 hours on the way to DE so I'm not completely irresponsible ;)

So Saturday afternoon we met part of the usual group in Avondale for laser tag- part 1 of the 3 part Alex 30th birthday extravaganza. I didn't know what to expect going in but just in case, I wore work out clothes. I'm very glad I did cause it was a rip roaring, running, squatting and jumping good time! During the madness I slammed my shoulder into different walls at different times so I'm all bruised up on both arms like I got into a fight. Kinda amusing but a good reminder of a great time. :)

After a quick refresh and change at Miranda's we went to Macaroni Grill where a bunch of others joined in for the festivities and good food. Then we went to Trolly Square in Wilmington to our usual digs for drinking and dancing. I think there might even be a few awesome pictures taken on Jen's cell phone...have to be on the lookout for them. So two hours of dancing and only one drink- lots of more calories burned.

Saturday was one of those days that just wouldn't have been possible 2 years ago. Sometimes I just spontaneously break into a grin for no reason. Then I remember I have 209 reasons to break into a grin and I keep right on being happy :D

End result: sexy good time had by all. :)

O to be "normal" sized

I had a totally awesome moment today in Kohl's when I was in the dressing room. An awesome moment while trying on clothes- I know crazy, right? I pulled about a dozen tops, trying to re infuse my work wardrobe with some different clothes and every single one I tried on (all XL of course) was too big. Let me just take a moment to absorb that again.

To somebody that has never struggled with always being plus size, you may not understand quite what it means to be able to shop in "normal" stores like everyone else. Since middle school I have been overweight. I was already shopping in the misses section when I was in middle school and half way through high school I was in the women's section- aka the dreaded "plus size." So when everyone else was in the juniors section wearing cute little shirts, I was already wearing clothes made for your mom. Not cool.

I can still remember this time I was in Kmart in early college looking for a bathing suit or something (plus size of course) when two young women passed by me and said under their breath (but definitely loud enough for me to hear it) : "Please just kill me if I am ever so fat that I have to wear clothes like that." I felt alternating waves of hatred and depression which resulted in me just leaving the store close to tears while trying to tell myself I didn't care what those women said.

But of course, I did care. Duh

So the end of the shopping trip at Kohl's today resulted in 3 really lovely fitted tops from Simply Vera Wang all in a size LARGE. I know that I am not out of XL forever because everyone has their different cuts and styles but just the fact that I can go shopping with my girl friends- in the same section, for the first time, makes me feel all giddy. :D

Do you have a plan?

"A goal without a plan is just a wish"

Wow, what a powerful statement from this week's weight watcher weekly bulletin. So, have you set your new years resolutions yet? I know some people have given the increased numbers at the Y and weight watchers in the past couple weeks. Today it was packed at weight watchers, which I love seeing- I just hope people can stick with it.

And that's what is so hard for so many, and was so difficult for me until I gave up all my excuses, looked myself in the mirror and admitted that I needed help. Thank God for weight watchers and support I have received from it and my loved ones. But the reality is...I AM DOING THIS. Not weight watchers, or my friends and family, but ME. Just as the all wonderful Jennifer Hudson says- you have to Believe.

So, do you Believe? After my weigh in today... with a whopping 3.6 lb loss- I have to believe! I'm in shock that I had such a good week with so much other stress going on. On New Years day we lost a great man, my grandfather- Joe Mulrooney. So Adrian and I packed up and drove down to Louisville, KY to mourn his loss with my family. It was very difficult because not only was Joe a great man, but it seemed like I couldn't help but re-open the wound that my father's death has left on my heart. My uncle Rob and his wife Debbie were there which was comforting. Seeing uncle Rob always seems to transport me back in time to Christmases in Kentucky where I would be on Papa's knee and Rob would play with us and my cousins in the basement while the "boring adults" socialized upstairs. In my eyes he was always such a cool uncle because of the silly things that kids care about when they are 5- barbies and toys.

And of course, it was great to spend time with the Crush family (my Aunt Brigid and her family), they are always so warm, fun and loving. It was wonderful spending time with them last time we were in Kentucky to see my dad when his health was failing...it's just a shame that we usually spend time together during difficult times because they are so full of life and love. With family far away, sometimes that's just the reality of life. I love that I never feel pressured to eat extra around them like I often feel around other family members and even some friends, in fact I feel just the opposite. Their healthy life style makes me feel at ease and like I am in my own house- which showed on the scale this week despite fewer total workout days and some of the most delicious desert I have ever tasted (but in moderation). If you have never had Derby Pie you obviously haven't lived. Also, chocolate chip pumpkin bread is so delicious it might have been created by the devil himself- it was the only thing I really "splurged" on and enjoyed two slices with no guilt because it was 100% worth it.

But fate stepped in again to throw us a curve ball...after the funeral on Thursday and a relaxing afternoon with the Crushes and uncle Rob, Adrian got the hard news that his grandmother died.....just 4 days after we lost Papa. Talk about a bad start to 2012...

Sometimes life is just hard. But all you can do is pick up and keep going.

Adrian for the win!

My husband has always been very supportive of my weight loss and he showed everyone just how awesome he is today :D

I was back at my usual Wednesday evening weight watcher meeting tonight after reaching my 200 lb loss mark last Monday in Fairfield. It was great to reach the goal, obviously, but it didn't feel as real until I told Joni, my awesome leader. She is the reason why I keep going to Wednesday night meetings even though with my schedule Monday nights would be easier. Her and the entire crew there- Carol, Judy, and Pam are fantastic too and always make me feel great weighing in no matter what the scale says. The whole dynamic of the group that goes to the meeting is so fun and it just doesn't feel the same without everyone there. Joni has said it before and she is so right. That's why you have to try out different meetings if you don't feel like you
"click" with your leader or group.


So....we are finishing up the meeting and Joni said she had a special activity and needs a helper and she asks me to come up front and sit down....and then proceeds to put a crown on my head and hand me a wand with a 200 star on it. I was in shock...it was a big celebration for me and my weight loss!! She gave a me a huge hug and when I turned around, there was ADRIAN with a beautiful vase of flowers and balloons!!! I couldn't believe it, I almost started crying I was so happy. Then she opened the floor for people to acknowledge how I have motivated them and ask me questions. It was awesome!! The ww team gave me an awesome ww power food cookbook with messages and signatures from everyone, including Mr. Bill (a previous receptionist). I love weight watchers and my husband is awesome! :) He emailed my leader so they could organize this whole thing- so fantastic! I'm so blessed to have so many supportive people in my life. Just earlier today I was feeling stressed and my sister was of course supportive and fantastic, as always. And I have so many other friends and family members that have been supportive of me the whole time. Much love! <3

Sometimes your body says no!

I'm really trying to embrace my motto every day- "No more excuses" but sometimes...it's not about excuses so much as just recognizing when I need a break.

As most of you know, I had a bad bout with tennis and golf elbow earlier in the year that really affected my weight loss. Heck, it affected my entire life. It was painful to open doors, go grocery shopping, lift pretty much anything... Not to mention my workouts were curtailed to an extreme amount because I not only had elbow pain but also a lot of neck and shoulder pain that made most high intensity exercise painful for solid 3 months. Imagine neck pain so bad that simply wearing a high impact sports bra felt like an elephant was sitting on the back of my neck. Yeah, not pleasant at all...

So about 3 weeks ago it flared up again beyond just soreness but started to really hurt again in a different way, but still painful. So I started up the routine again- icing, ibuprofen, and extended stretching. Thank goodness it's not nearly as bad as before and I've been able to continue working my legs and running.

I went to my doctor to get it checked out and he was worried about me having developed rheumatoid arthritis. After panicking during the walk over to the hospital, I had x-rays taken of my elbow- thank GOD no bone spurs or other evidence of arthritis. Luckily my doctor called with results within 24 hours- I'm so happy with this new practice I've been going to. I was seriously scared- that is not something I want to be dealing with, especially at 26. So I just started taking a joint supplement. I figure I beat my body on too regular a basis to not help it out a little.

To make my pity party that much worse I woke up Thursday morning (while in Pittsburgh) with the worst calf tightness I've ever had. It started as what I thought was just charlie horses but even after stretching the tightness only mildly calmed down. It basically felt like my calf muscles were rocks and just wouldn't relax. I skipped my pre-race run I had planned and stretched off and on all day that day and Friday....to basically no improvement. Emily suggested using a foam roller and Jen suggested heat- so I tried both when I got home Friday afternoon.


What an innocent blue foam pad this looks like- I never knew it could be used as a torture device! Thank goodness to youtube in it's all knowing power for showing me how to use it on my calves. After cringing and bitching my way through 30 minutes with this thing I wanted to throw it through the window and chop off my right leg.....but when I stood up, I realized it did help. It allowed me to find where the main tightness was and through some isolated massage my calves finally have calmed down. After limping for 2 days, I finally felt like I was returning to normal again.

But the end result- I totally bailed on the 5k Jingle Bell walk/run on Saturday. I could have gone and walked and hobbled my way through it but when I woke up and stretched my legs were still hating me. So after walking outside and realizing it was -20 deg I went immediately back to bed and slept another 2 hours.

And you know what? It felt bloody fantastic. I NEVER sleep in. But I came to terms with my body telling me to CHILL OUT and I did just that. It was glorious to be lazy for just one morning. I did drag my lazy butt out of bed about 10am and then stumbled over to the gym an hour later to foam roll, stretch, and sit in the sauna to heat my muscles some more. I did like 100 cruches so I didn't feel like I was wasting away and then walked back home- and could walk without limping! yay!

So today I did a simple fast walk on the treadmill for half an hour, stretched and enjoyed the sauna some more. Tomorrow is back to my normal routine (hopefully no pain!) with a killer workout with Emily. I just hope that this rest is what my body needed and it's ready to get beat again!