Surgery tomorrow!

I have my second elbow surgery tomorrow- this time on my left elbow.  If you want to read about my right elbow, check it out here.

I am......  

Keep the rocking chairs away!

I don't think I'm really quite that nervous, but I am a bit anxious- as to be expected. I'm going into surgery!  Even though I am considered "low surgery risk" according to my doctors, there is still risk every time you go under anesthesia.  Even though I know what to expect from last time, there are some different variables that I didn't have going on last time.....like being basically like this sad bear: 

banged up bear

Although I won't be leaving on that adorable little wheelchair, I am going into surgery with injured feet as well as my stupid elbows.  I am waiting on a call back from my sports medicine doctor to see about wearing boots during my recovery.  So it's possible that I will have a cast on my left arm and a boot (or two) on my feet by the end of the week.

Also, I have to face the facts....I'm dreading the pain.  The pain of the surgery. The pain right after that is so sharp and overwhelming it's hard to breathe.   After the surgery they ask you to keep pressing the pain medicine button until your pain reaches a 5/10 pain threshold.  You start at a 10.  A 10 sucks, just in case you weren't sure.   I keep remembering when I first came out of surgery and had to get dressed and how retched it was to simply put my pants on.  I keep remembering the ride home with my mom when I was so lethargic and my head was spinning so much it was nearly impossible to give her directions home. I keep remembering how the pain medicine would make me so nauseous if I didn't take the anti nauseous medicine beforehand I could barely function.

The good thing is I can also remember very vividly the moment when I could extend my right arm fully.  When I picked up a heavy bag of groceries and it didn't hurt. When I could turn a door knob like a normal human being and not be in pain.  When I could wash dishes without my arms throbbing.  When I could pull laundry out of the washer and it not result in pain radiated down my forearm.

So what I want to focus on now is that day that I will wake up and I will NOT be in pain.  My left arm will match my right and will be better!  I can't wait!! I know that this will all be worth it, because it is leading me closer to that day!