Many years of love, in pictures!

Our wedding anniversary was yesterday, on August 29th, and Adrian and I have been married for 4 years!!!  We have been together since November of 2005- obviously a great month!  A little blast from the past, looking all the way back from when we were first together, it's crazy how different we look!

UDMB Band Banquet- November 2005

Above is from the UDMB Band Banquet....one of our first big dates, right after we became an "official" couple.  We had met less than a month before at a birthday party for Jen C. We then spent 2 very challenging years in SD while I pursued my master's degree in animal nutrition.  I successfully finished my degree but not without adding quite a lot of weight along the way, mainly in the form of fast food. 

When we came home to visit for Christmas 2007 I was at my heaviest weight....and I was miserable, sluggish, lethargic, and it didn't stop me from stuffing my face.  Up until I saw the holiday pictures I was in denial about how much weight I had truly gained.  There really was no denying it after that.... I tried, albeit briefly, to lose weight but after going on a treadmill 2-3 times a week for almost a month, I fell off that completely as soon as Adrian stopped and quit that gym in shame.

Christmas 2007- in DE

Mt. Rushmore- March 2008

We came back to the east coast for good in late September 2008 and stayed at my parent's farm for a couple months.  Right before Thanksgiving, Adrian got a job at the Gettysburg Times and we moved to Gettysburg together!  I had started Curves in Rising Sun and kept up with it when we moved.  I got my job with Banfield in Feb 2009  which allowed us to start planning for the big W word.....WEDDING!!!

August 29, 2009- Married!  So happy!

Surrounded by family and friends

Honeymoon in Puerto Rico, September 2009

When we came back from our awesome honeymoon in Puerto Rico I realized that Curves wasn't going to cut it and I needed to drastically change something.....which is why I joined weight watchers on October 21, 2009.  Then the weight finally started to come off, with a strong dose of love and support from my wonderful husband!!

1st yr wedding anniversary- Rehobeth Beach, DE- 8/29/10

Adrian is always so supportive! 2/5/11- my first sprint triathlon, with Brianne

From Jen and Evan's wedding- Memorial Day 2011

PNC Park- 6/30/11

The Parrot in Gettysburg- December 2011

New Years Party- 1/1/2012

Easter- 4/8/12

from a photo shoot with Tanya- May 2012 at Fair Hill 

NHS 10 yr reunion- July 2012 with Jen H

NYC- on the ferry to Governor's Island, August 2012

Brianne and Michael's wedding! 12/23/12

We bought a house!!! 3/15/13

Tiger time! Myrtle Beach vacation- 7/5/13

Wow, we have been truly blessed with some wonderful times together! Love you, hunny! <3

Life without use of my left arm....

Hasn't been the end of the world thus far, I'm happy to report!

Home safe thanks to mom! Feeling a bit dizzy here

As to be expected, the first 24 hours after the surgery were pretty dreadful.  What I do know for sure is that when I woke up my pain was somewhere over a 10 on the 0-10 pain scale.  It was BAD.  I literally just lay there trying to breathe deeply through it like the nurses were coaching me as they kept adding more IV pain meds till I got down to a 7 on the pain scale.  Apparently, I wasn't breathing deeply enough which kept resulting in me drifting into a drug induced haze.  Umm...so I apparently took a little longer in recovery than my first surgery, but luckily I didn't have any complications.  The first night of sleep was terrible- I maybe got 2 hrs before the pain meds wore off and I woke up in crazy pain and eventually had to take some at 2:45 am.  Luckily last night I got pretty decent sleep, what a relief!

Great surprise- after the first 4 hours or so, I haven't been nearly as nauseous as the first 24 hrs after my first surgery.  I was taking the anti-nausea medicine as frequently as possible in January, which has the double wammy side effect of making you SUPER drowsy. You are already taking pain medicine every 4 hours like clockwork, which makes you drowsy, but this added medication makes you feel like you are barely able to keep your eyes open without tooth picks.  We are talking out of control tired, people!  Which is great right before bed, but not when you have to function on any normal level.

Ding can get away with it easier!

Luckily, Dr. Ding has come back to keep me company during my recovery.

See, I'm icing my arm, Dr. Ding!

In similar news, my coworkers are totally awesome!! Look what was delivered yesterday!

Edible arrangements from the LM team!

So my mom helped me take some thank you pictures and Ding really wanted to help....

Ding loves melon!

This morning I had to disassemble the beautiful arrangement so it can be all nicely stored in air tight containers.  Look at all that yummy fruit!!

Colorful!

Thanks to everyone for all the thoughts and prayers! I appreciate the love and support!

Surgery tomorrow!

I have my second elbow surgery tomorrow- this time on my left elbow.  If you want to read about my right elbow, check it out here.

I am......  

Keep the rocking chairs away!

I don't think I'm really quite that nervous, but I am a bit anxious- as to be expected. I'm going into surgery!  Even though I am considered "low surgery risk" according to my doctors, there is still risk every time you go under anesthesia.  Even though I know what to expect from last time, there are some different variables that I didn't have going on last time.....like being basically like this sad bear: 

banged up bear

Although I won't be leaving on that adorable little wheelchair, I am going into surgery with injured feet as well as my stupid elbows.  I am waiting on a call back from my sports medicine doctor to see about wearing boots during my recovery.  So it's possible that I will have a cast on my left arm and a boot (or two) on my feet by the end of the week.

Also, I have to face the facts....I'm dreading the pain.  The pain of the surgery. The pain right after that is so sharp and overwhelming it's hard to breathe.   After the surgery they ask you to keep pressing the pain medicine button until your pain reaches a 5/10 pain threshold.  You start at a 10.  A 10 sucks, just in case you weren't sure.   I keep remembering when I first came out of surgery and had to get dressed and how retched it was to simply put my pants on.  I keep remembering the ride home with my mom when I was so lethargic and my head was spinning so much it was nearly impossible to give her directions home. I keep remembering how the pain medicine would make me so nauseous if I didn't take the anti nauseous medicine beforehand I could barely function.

The good thing is I can also remember very vividly the moment when I could extend my right arm fully.  When I picked up a heavy bag of groceries and it didn't hurt. When I could turn a door knob like a normal human being and not be in pain.  When I could wash dishes without my arms throbbing.  When I could pull laundry out of the washer and it not result in pain radiated down my forearm.

So what I want to focus on now is that day that I will wake up and I will NOT be in pain.  My left arm will match my right and will be better!  I can't wait!! I know that this will all be worth it, because it is leading me closer to that day!

What are you grateful for?

This week hasn't gotten any better.....Aside from some time with Jen, I can't get the pain of my feet, especially my left foot, off my mind.  So, to help with that, I want to focus a post on what I am grateful for.  I even had some facebook friends join in on the fun, so I'm going to include what they are grateful for, too :)

- I'm grateful for an awesome and supportive husband.  Adrian is there for me no matter what I'm struggling or excited about. Truly there for the good and bad, the thick and thin- literally!  I couldn't ask for a better partner to share my life with.

Adrian and I at my sister's wedding, December 2012

- I'm grateful for fun and loving friends and family!

With Jen H at Yankee Stadium, summer 2012

- I'm grateful for Ding! Who wouldn't love this little guy? :)

Ding!

- I'm grateful for Dancer and Piney! I love our horses- even if sometimes they result in some pain :)

Me with Dancer, summer 2012

Mom on Piney, summer 2012

And here are some things others are grateful for from facebook....

Colleen Mulrooney Martin

I'm thinking of doing an entry later tonight or this week about the little things I'm grateful for....I want to hear what YOU are grateful for! I might include some in my blog 

on Monday

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• Janet MacDonna and Adrian Martin like this.
• 

  Sarah Duran The occassional morning I get to drink my coffee before the kids wake up.

  August 12 at 3:25pm via mobile · Unlike · 1
• 

  Sarah Duran Giggles and smiles, even if they are after tears or fits.

  August 12 at 3:28pm via mobile · Unlike · 1
• 

  Sarah Duran And family and friends for helping me remember who I am when all I feel like is a caregiver and mom.

  August 12 at 3:31pm via mobile · Unlike · 1
• 

  Joan Jessup Howard Another day with my wonderful husband.

  August 12 at 4:16pm via mobile · Unlike · 1
• 

  Jen Cohen Always having someone to talk to about life, no matter how difficult it gets.

  August 12 at 6:38pm via mobile · Unlike · 1
• 

  Michelle Windle The ability to walk. I lost it, then I fought hard and got it back, and it is something that a lot of people take for granted, but I am grateful every single day for it. It's not a little thing but it's something that is overlooked.

  August 12 at 11:05pm · Unlike · 1
• 

Thanks to everyone that commented and helped spark my thoughts :)

What are you grateful for?

What's best for ME?

Is there a bit of an echo here?  Perhaps from all the empty space....

I keep starting entries or coming up with ideas of what to write (I was even given a great idea from a friend, Lauren that I would like to work on another day).  I actually started this post last night then got distracted when my husband came home.

And now....I have had another set back.  My reaction is to continue to be silent on my blog because I try to live a positive life and find the silver lining.  So, I didn't want to come on here and complain.  But, also this blog is for ME and to help me stay on plan and focused, and right now I need to write.

Today was a roller coaster of a day....I had SUCH a great time riding my horse, Dancer with my mom. I really mean great- no pain in my feet!  Although, my legs and ankles were telling me it's been too long since I've been on horseback or strength training! I took every precaution I could think of...I warned my mom ahead of time in case I pulled Dancer up when we were running, I mounted from a tall mounting block so I wasn't putting too much pressure on my foot, I sat to the trot and canter as much as possible to not add any extra pressure on my feet, and I even dismounted onto a mounting block so I wouldn't be jumping down.  That last one....I hate doing because it makes me feel silly, awkward, and like a beginner.  But, I figured- it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, I need to do what's best for ME.

From months ago with me on Dancer, Kevin on Piney

So you might be thinking to yourself....why isn't this a rejoiceful post?

Well, because as I was bathing Dancer afterwards, he does what he does sometimes...he starts dancing around me like a fool and BAM.  I get stepped on. Again.  Same foot I've been stepped on now 3 times in the past 8 months- my right foot.

Hard to see any detail...but it hurts...

My reaction was more anger than anything else, which is quite unusual for me around the horses.  I am the most centered around them and anger hardly ever comes out.  But I swore up and down not because I was in so much pain in that moment....but because I knew how this would set back my recovery.  It was what would typically be a minor injury but, with my foot already super sensitive....it is now a bit swollen and I am more than a bit nervous.  I've had ice on it off and on, and have been keeping it elevated since I got home.

So, the way I see it....



I really only have one choice- give it all I've got.  Looks like even more rest, ice, compression, and elevation in my near future.



How do you keep your spirits up during an injury or set back? Help!

Post from the Air....

An entry written on the flight to Portland.....

Hello, internet friends!  Right now, I am looking out a little airplane window at the Cascades Mountains, and it is surely a beautiful sight to behold.  It really takes your breath away.

I’m trying to keep in mind the beauty in life, but it’s hard when pain is an ever present and constant friend.  Right now, my feet have calmed down from their previous flaring pain that had me limping slowly and painfully through Chicago Midway airport to catch this flight.  My left elbow though….I awkwardly fell asleep as people will when they got less than 4 hours of terrible sleep the night before 8+ hrs of traveling. In coordination with my elbow, I have the searing lower back pain that will come from that nasty and awkward sleep that my brain seemed so desperate for.  I’m confident that a good stretch and some movement of both will make me feel better- which will only exasperate my foot.

Sometimes….life just doesn't seem fair.  For the past 2 days I've been feeling like a shell of myself.  Going through the motions but not able to focus very well and having a hard time being happy.  I haven’t felt this sluggish and low spirited in years….and I HATE IT.

A visit with my physical therapist and lots of foot manipulating and prodding has her thinking I could potentially have a stress fracture on one or both of my feet.  Of course it could be something else, but that’s a possibility.  Can you say SCARY?  The funny (really not so funny, duh) thing was that my feet weren't feeling too bad till my feet got poked and prodded and my pt when searching for pain.   I know it was important, and in reality it has brought me back to reality about this injury.  Because not even 6 hours after the apt, I was walking in Target for 10 minutes and by the time I got to my car both of my feet were throbbing and all I could think was of how fast I could get home to ice them.

Actually those exact thoughts were screaming in my head 4 hours ago before this long flight.  I was thinking that maybe I should ask a restaurant for some ice….but then I needed to get on the flight because it took so bloody long for me to hobble around and find some oatmeal and then get to my gate.  I guess if I was smart I would have just asked the flight attendant for 2 bags of ice when I got on board…..  Maybe it’s something I can do on the way home.

Frankly….it sucks being in pain like this. And I’m really concerned about having a full work week in Portland for a big conference.  Then next week….a new hospital opening where I will be on my feet for 8+ hrs each day.  Ugggggh.  I will get through it, I'm just not currently sure exactly how without exercise....and it's the mental struggle I'm worried about with not exercise.

So, fast forward, I am now at the hotel and am being a good patient: RICE time. Aka rest, ice, compression, and elevation. I have my feet currently in compression socks (as they have been all day), elevated, and with ice on them.  They are all tingly and thanking me for the ice after what would normally be a small amount of walking but right now feels like I ran a marathon. No joke....

What do you do to keep sane when you can't exercise?

Injuries suck

So, I need to come clean with my few loyal followers....

I am struggling right now. I am frustrated.  I feel like this little guy:

Banged up bear

Work is a little stressful right now, yes....but I am dealing more with stress in the form of that picture above....injuries.  Let's talk about what I'm feeling right now..

1. Left elbow hurts- still need to get surgery, and sometimes it full blown throbs in pain. Other times it's a constant, dull, low level of ache type of pain.  But it's ALWAYS THERE!!  It's exhausting to always have a low level of pain. Mentally and physically.

2. Right elbow hurts occasionally.....even after having surgery and being "cleared"

3. About 3 weeks ago I had some left arch pain so I took 2 days off, and then was able to do a great 3 mile tempo run.  Only did 1 mile fast and my legs felt great.

4. The very next day....the top of my right foot started to hurt, so I took some time off- a week to be exact- and saw my doctor.  I thought it was related to this:

Got stepped on by my horse in December 2012- the picture is from then

Even got another x-ray.  It was clear, except some calcification of the bone that basically showed that I was in pain for a while and the bone had to get all strengthened as a result. Yay? Got cleared to ease back in....I did, the pain was back after a little over a mile of a slow, easy run.  Took a few days off then eased back in...I did under 3 miles with a mixture of walking and running, with some breaks and I felt fine throughout and afterwards.  The next day (maybe this was a mistake?) I wanted to run a little on the beach as the sun was rising.  We were in Myrtle Beach for vacation, I am entitled!!

Less than half a mile in my darn LEFT foot starts smarting.  And I was going SLOW and light on my feet. Like 15 min/mile slow.  Heart rate at 135 bpm slow.  On purpose. So....WHAT?!  I walked another mile or so because I refused to have gotten up at 5:30am and turn it in after half a mile.  Colleen was pissed. And in pain. Bad combination, especially when on vacation.

So, that happened on the morning of July 4th.

sad runner

It is now July 10th.

Colleen has not run since July 4th.  I haven't done a decent distance run (3 miles or more) since June 19th. OMG! Didn't really realize that till I had to look it up.  Fail.



Well, I am mad about it damaging my body, true...but mainly because it means I can't run. Yeah.....every time I see a runner I ache a little inside.  This started a couple weeks ago as a little longing and missing the run and now has morphed into borderline wet eyes every time I see a runner.  Especially somebody who is obviously a serious runner and out for a long run or is totally killing it.  I have been caught day dreaming in the middle of a conversation when we pass a runner because I'm thinking about some old great runs and day dreaming about runs in the future when I'm not in pain. Several times I have blurted out at them "great job" like we are racing and I'm cheering them on.  Luckily I have only reverted to this sad and pathetic state when alone so my loved ones think I'm still sane...maybe...

It's not just my brain and heart that is mad about my current state- my body is mad that I'm not running.  It still wants to eat like I'm running and doesn't like that I've gained prolly 5lbs since mid June.   Going on vacation and indulging in some new stuff and not being able to run it off and create that much loved calorie deficit....it sucks.  So, I am dragging my sorry, somewhat bigger, butt into a weight watchers meeting tonight to weigh in and face the scale like a good member.  Since I'm lifetime I will have to pay for the meeting since I am definitely going to be over my goal weight....but it's worth it. I need a reality check!

I have been doing cross training so don't jump down my throat about biking and elliptical- I've been doing that. I even strength trained a couple times and that's always good.   This morning I even caught a spin class....where half way in my left foot told me that standing was not feeling great.  REALLY?!

So yeah....sorry this is such a downer post, but it's my reality right now.  I keep playing phone tag with my doctor because I'm hoping she will give me a script to return to physical therapy.  Hopefully Barb and Mark can help me figure out what I'm doing wrong, maybe it's a running form thing, or a foot strengthening thing.  I know they aren't magicians, but I'm hoping they can help me.... I'm sick of the elliptical and bike, and I want to RUN.


What do you do to pick yourself up when you are discouraged about an injury? HELP!