Wednesday, October 26, 2011

How can I stop being a perfectionist?

I am such a perfectionist that often I am my own worst critic. How can I let that go? If only I had an easy answer to that....

I lost 1.2 lbs this week! I should be celebrating, but I'm frustrated because I worked my butt off (literally, my butt is still a little sore from the before mentioned last chance workout) and ate on plan....and I didn't even lose the amount I gained last week. This is not my typical trend and I must admit, I pouted a little after my weigh in. I know- stupid, right?

Well I think I need a dose of reality before I beat myself up more, because this has been a reoccurring problem for me. Recently I submitted for a weight watchers inspiring stories award. Gosh darnit, I have worked hard to get where I am and just because my weight loss is slowing down doesn't mean I can give up!

So here is the story I submitted followed by the before and after pictures I submitted.....I look at the before picture and I want to cry, delete it and pretend like it doesn't exist. I've known of people that do that after losing a large amount of weight- they erase all their old pictures. But, the reality is that it is a part of who I am- in the past and the present. I will NEVER be at that weight again, but I can't forget how easy it was for me to get there and not even realize how out of control I was.

“How did I get back here?” Is all I could think after my latest fast food binge and the head-ache that followed. After trying to get my act into gear for what felt like the 100th time on another new diet, I had fallen back on my old habits and was back up in weight and back into the golden arches. That’s when I snapped and decided I was done with this endless weight gain I seemed to have been on since high school. The next day I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting and haven’t eaten fast food since. That was almost two years and over 150 lbs ago. From day one, the Weight Watchers program has made so much sense - weighing, measuring, tracking my food, keeping track of my good health guidelines and get moving! I finally have found a program that wasn’t a diet - it is truly a lifestyle change. Not to mention the invaluable support that I receive from my wonderful leader, Joni, and the great team! No matter how I was feeling - excited, frustrated, sad - I knew I could see my friends at the meeting and they would understand and support me through it.

Weight Watchers has truly given me my life back in a way I never would have imagined, even when I wished to the weight loss gods to be thin. Over 150 lbs lighter than I was when I started, I feel like I have been reborn and have such a happy and rewarding life. I never thought that I would enjoy eating only fresh foods and miss the gym during my rest day. Due to my new healthy lifestyle I have been able to enjoy so much that I never thought would be possible - horseback riding, kayaking, kickboxing, running, Zumba, spinning, P90X, completing my first triathlon and the list continues. I also received a major promotion at work- made possible because of my new found confidence. Thanks to all the available tools Weight Watchers has, I’ve been able to keep up with healthy changes via etools, message boards, and attending local meetings.

My initial weigh-in with Weight Watchers was terrifying, but I had to face the scale and the consequences of my bad choices. Joni encouraged me by saying simply, “You will never see that number again,” and she was right. Thank you Weight Watchers!

Before- taken on our Honeymoon- late August 2009. Eww

After- taken early October 2011. Much better :)