|My WW bling|
The picture above is all of my Weight Watcher "bling" per say. One of the things I LOVE about WW is all the focus on success and celebrations. Each of those little discs represents 25 lbs of weight lost (different colors for each 25lb accomplishment up to 100lbs then you start over). The key chain itself represents 10% lost. The clapping hands with 16 inscribed is for hitting 16 weeks on program- stay and succeed reward! It's been shown that those that stay at least 16 weeks are much more likely to reach their goal, so it's a big milestone. Then I have three 5k charms for completing a 5k for each of the years they have been promoting completely a 5k as a goal. Y'all know I love my fitness goals! Next is the star you have recently seen which means goal! And last but certainly not least.....THE key!!!
At this point, I have lost.... 221.6 lbs with Weight Watchers and 257.6 lbs total! The two numbers are because I lost 36 lbs before joining WW- and that 36lbs took me at least 6 months of yo-yoing all over the place until I made the GREAT decision to join WW and jump start my life on October 21, 2009.
The interesting thing about this milestone is that when you look at my past trackers, I have actually been at this weight for 5 months! Why did I wait to set my goal until January 23rd? Well....a lot of reasons that I had to work through mentally. My doctor set my healthy weight goal at 180lbs, his reasoning because I have roughly 20lbs of extra skin that needs to be removed. Unfortunatley, by BMI standards that is still considered overweight by about 20 lbs. For those 5 or so months, I really thought I could get to that healthy BMI goal and that ultimately I knew better than my doctor. I was determined to hit that specific healthy BMI number of 160lbs, and I was starting to get frustrated and angry at myself.
After having a few heart to heart conversations with my old leader, Joni and new leader, Kelly I realized I needed to figure out what was good for my body- not my ego. I was so fixated on that 160lb goal that life was starting to pass me by while I restricted what I ate and worked out as much as possible, with no results and lots of frustrations. I wasn't restricting to excess, but I wasn't allowing myself to have a drink here or there or indulge in a great dessert sometimes. All the while, my body was staying pretty consistently between 175-180 and I was getting progressively frustrated. Then, my sister's wedding happened and I saw this exact picture of myself, on my cousin's phone, at the reception:
I looked at that picture, and I couldn't find myself, I was so confused. I was thinking to myself- why is my sister in a red dress? And then.....
I started crying. That beautiful girl on the right, that I was convinced was my sister, was ME! My cousin had to say it out loud for me to believe it, I was in such shock. I had been happy with my progress up to that point and so excited to be fitting into awesome clothes, and receiving so many nice compliments. When I saw that picture..... for the first time in my life, I felt truly beautiful on the inside and out. It may sound crazy, but I felt a monumental shift from within. It's like something literally clicked in my heart and I forgave myself. I forgave myself for getting to 435 lbs. I forgave myself for almost killing myself with my food addiction.
At that moment- I was at goal, finally. After that, it was just a matter of technicalities and talking to my support system at Weight Watchers to make that happen. Now I'm at lifetime, and I was so glad to celebrate it with my new WW family last night. In two weeks, I will be celebrating again with my Gettysburg family when we will actually process my official Lifetime Membership paperwork. Last night was supposed to be that night, but the snowstorm kept that from happening when the meeting was canceled. Luckily I was able to celebrate close to home with my new leader, who made a sweet card that a bunch of members signed! :) I brought some before and after pictures and shared my story, answered questions, and even caused some tears. It was great and very affirming that the hard work was worth it!
I will leave you tonight with one my favorite quotes of all time, and one I try to live my life by....