Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Way too long...'s been a really long time since I've posted.  Life has been good and bad at times since I last posted in 2014, like everyone.  We all have our good and bad patches.  It just seems that 2015-2016 has been a lot of personal challenges.  But I feel like I'm finally over the mountain of stress and have been at least downsized to a "wee" hill, as the kiwis would say.  Still a lot going on in my life, but it feels more manageable.

Well one thing that is frustrating that I feel comfortable about saying to the general public...I'm up 50 lbs from my goal weight.  That sucks. I hate it.  I miss my old number, size, feeling.  It was a struggle to maintain, but at least I did so for a solid year.

But ya know....stuff happens. Like injuries. I had a weird one in addition to my past stress fractures and tennis elbow...winged scapula.  I had a damaged nerve in my back that was causing my scapula to wing off the rest of my back like a bird.   In case you are wondering, it looked as weird as it sounds.  My entire right arm would vary from one giant cramp (holy cow that hurt!) to being all numb and tingly.  Of course, forget upper body strength training but it also meant I couldn't run, the elliptical and bike hurt my back, and even swimming was challenging.  Lower body strength training was hard too because it involves stabilization of your core, which involves your back.  I could walk gently basically- which I did as often as possible.

Thus started my gentle creep up.  Thanks to physical therapy that injury is healed and only occasionally flares up again when I really overdo it or sleep weird.  But I put on that first 10 lbs.  And then it just kept slowly going up until the stress that is the giant C word hit my family again: Cancer.  It's a scary monster and has been a constant background in my life since 2009.   Between the diagnosis of my stepdad and an eventual divorce.....the weight just kept going up.  Even though I was going to weight watchers and exercising I just didn't seem to care as much about what I ate.  I never went hog wild but my body gains weight easily and quickly.  Such is life!

So after months of trying to get back on track I feel like mentally I have been back these past few weeks.  The scale is not rewarding me, but I know that I feel better physically and mentally so I know the loss will show up soon.  I've been exercising more regularly again and with more energy.  I'm back to a regular 5 days of exercising in a week.  I'm consistently strength training twice a week. I know this is so important for me and I'm proud of myself for getting back to this routine.  I also started the couch to 5k training program again.  I've used this several times to work back into running and increasing mileage and stamina.  I'm in week 2 and feeling good so far.

So I'm going to try this blogging thing again when I feel the urge to post and update.  Maybe it will help me keep focused like it did before.

I need to remember- I've still lost and kept off 200 lbs since my heaviest!!  That is major.  I can't forget where I came and that I'm never going back to that.

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