Shopping in Nashville!

There is one big aspect of my weight loss journey that is both thrilling and intimidating to me: shopping.

Really, it’s more thrilling than anything else.  Once I got out of the dreaded and much hated plus sizes, I felt like my wardrobe exploded into endless possibilities. At my heaviest, weighing in over 400 lbs I had pretty much zero options. If I found something that fit I wore that.  I didn’t wear anything fitted- everything was baggy and flowing, with elastic or drawstring waistbands pretty much always.  The nice thing about those pants- they expand with you as you grow and you don’t even realize it.  I was all about denial. I bought most of my clothes from Walmart then.  Not because I chose to, but because I didn’t have a choice.  After all, you could get sizes up to 5x at Walmart.

Today I didn’t shop in Walmart or Lane Bryant.  I haven’t had to shop in either of those stores for months now.   Lane Bryant gave me a lot more options once I was in the “normal” plus size range that they covered but I was totally pigeon holed into their style.  I didn’t have my own style when I shopped there- I had theirs.  I realize that I could have gone to other plus size stores but for some reason I didn’t.  Lane Bryant was comfortable for me because I knew things would fit there, I knew my size, and their style worked for me at work.  LB was good for me, but I am so glad that I never have to shop there again because it truly isn’t my style. 

 

Today I lost myself in Saks 5^th Avenue- Off 5^th, aka their outlet store.  I also LOVE the Nordstrom’s Rack.   While playing I tried on so many different pairs of designer shoes that looked incredible I lost count.  My favorite- a pair of Minolo Blaniks strappy stilettos that were sexy as anything and made my legs and butt look BAM.  I died a little bit because I couldn’t convince myself to purchase them- they were only about $450 which is good for Minolos, but WAY over my budget, DUHH.  I am still dreaming about those shoes and this pair of Michael Kohrs nude peep toe pumps with a cheetah accent on the sole. Killer!

And then after almost choosing a new Coach AND Michael Kohrs bag (talked myself out of both, don’t worry)…. I got to the clothes…..angels were singing.  I tried on so many different designers, including a pair of originally priced $250 jeans.  FYI, $250 jeans are that expensive for a reason.  I have never seen my butt and legs look that good in jeans, and I probably never will again.  But even on sale they were $150, people!  So alas, no phenomenal jeans, but…I did get a killer blue Calvin Klein dress. 





Yeah, I know...the compression socks are super sexy, I know you are super jeaulous.  I took a picture to send to hubby and Jen because sometimes a girl needs a second opinion before thunking down some dough.   I picked it out because I thought it would be an appropriate work dress at a meeting.  Certainly not a hospital visit as it hits above the knee and there’s no way I could restrain a big dog in it without flashing half the hospital both pairs of girly bits.  With the Ft. Lauderdale, FL meeting coming up in a month I hope I can shed another few pounds and it will look that much better.   It’s going to be hot as anything in FL because it will be late August and I really should wear as many skirts and dresses as possible to keep cool.  Or knock some socks off and look professional hot, however you want to look at it, lol.  

PS- the dress…it’s a size 10. What what?!  That’s right, designer size 10.  Loving it!  I am still a while from a size 8 but I hope I will eventually get there.  If not, I am THRILLED to be a size 10 and could stay there happily. :)

THAT is a great experience!

Today Adrian and I went to Rehobeth Beach for the day.  It brought back lots of memories of past trips to the beach....some good and some bad.  My weight has held me back a lot in the past and the beach is no exception.  Can you say heat rash? That stuff HURTS.  Even though that hasn't gone away completely with weight loss, being able to shop in a "normal" size store is a major change from a couple summers ago, and it means more than most people realize.

White House, Black Market is one of those stores that I have always liked but have never shopped in for many reasons but mainly: 1. I couldn’t fit into their clothes. They only go up to size 14 I think. 2. They are PRICEY.    But I remember passing by their beautiful shop every time we went to rehobeth in HS.   Jen H and I would stop there frequently, particularly to look at their sale rack outside.  Each time we looked through I would feel so miserable because I loved their clothes but didn’t have a shot in hell of fitting into them.  I remember thinking one time when Jen H. and I were browsing that there would never be a day I would be skinny enough to shop in their store and fit in with their beautiful, stylish image.

 

I was wrong.  That day was TODAY.

After lots of sun and surf, Adrian and I changed and we both wanted to do a little shopping to get out of the sun and into some air conditioning.  We stopped in a few different places then started heading over to funland for bumper cars, when we passed the familiar store front and their rows of sale racks.  I made a little noise and said how much I liked that store and Adrian was like- let’s go then!  After browsing through some sale stuff I found a handful of stuff to try on.  We were greeted immediately by a sweet woman named Megan who asked me what my name was.  Wow, great start!  She then asked if she could take my clothes and start a fitting room for me.  Bonus point number 2!  I love when sales people do this in clothing stores.   Call it what you will, but I like being taken care of sometimes.  Then Adrian and I went looking, picking out several more things for me to try and show to him- with very little hope of them really looking that great on me.  At least that was what the evil little gremlin in the back of my head was saying.

Well Megan did not just hook me up with one of their gorgeous dressing rooms but asked me what size shoe I wore and proceeded to bring me several different pairs of heels that I could wear while trying on different dresses.  Then she asked me if I had any jeans to try on to go with my tops and when I told her no- immediately asked me my size and brought me the size 12s I told her I was.  I hesistantly tried on the jeans and beautiful size M shirt she brought me and opened the curtain- to a stunned “wow” from both Meghan and Adrian.   After wowing over the shirt, she immediately told me the pants were too big for me and with the smaller size on proceeded to tell me how great my ass looked in them.  I gotta admit, it did look good, but I didn't want to buy cropped jeans.  And the shirt she picked out…..wowsers.  On the price but also on the look- Adrian was very insistent on the purchase of that top especially.   



in LOVE with this top!



 At this point Adrian informed her of my weight loss progression and she got all giddy excited and kept bringing up how I needed to dress my new body to show off all the hard work I’ve done.  She brought me somewhere between 2-3 dozen dresses and outfits to try on by the end of the visit.  She has an amazing sense of style and what would look good on me, because every single one looked gorgeous and made me feel beautiful.   Every time I opened the curtain, it was to great reactions from them both.  I felt like I was shopping with a close girl friend instead of getting help from a sales woman.

I finally narrowed it down to two of the most beautiful dresses I have ever owned- a maxi and a cocktail, THE shirt that Adrian was in love with, and the shoes I was wearing the whole time. They were FANTASTIC, sexy, and quite comfortable.  The shoes were also 30% off, making them the easiest decision of the day. 



duh, these are awesome



In the end, I feel guilty for how much money I spent but no amount of money could ever re-create the amazing experience I had.  I’ve heard work friends talk about shopping trips to Neiman Marcus where the sales woman just asks your size and brings you endless fabulousness.  This felt even better than that because it was a personal connection and I felt SPECIAL the whole time. 

Adrian said as we were leaving that it was one of those milestone moments for me.  Totally on the ball, as always :)

I'm not actually hungry but my brain doesn't know that

Ever had that feeling like you could eat everything in your house? If you answered no to that, I'm just going to assume that you aren't human.

For everyone else- I'm curious how everyone else handles this- please respond with your helpful hints because I could use them!

I tried all my standard tactics....obviously I had dinner first and drank plenty of water and waited a good 30+ minutes after I was done dinner before I even considered entering the kitchen again. Usually this kicks my binge desire in the bud because I actually allow my brain to catch up with my stomach- what a novel thought!

30 minutes later and I still feel like I could devour everything that isn't nailed down. So, I had a little bit of my go-to craving solver- 1 serving of baked tostitos scoops with salsa (yum yum yum) along with an apple and felt a little better. To distract myself further I ripped my 3 new CDs that y'all will either cheer or point and laugh at me for. "NOW that's what I call music"- volumes 38, 39, and 40. I never looked at these albums before because I thought they were just for teeny boppers...until I was in Walmart today and realized that I liked every single one of the 20 songs on each one and they were only $12. HECK YEAH! So now I finally have some decent workout music. RHCP, I still love you, but sometimes you just plain suck to run or lift to and I want some Britney and Pit Bull.

So...I came here to further distract myself from further binge damage. This past week has been really stressful with my mom receiving some bad test results but it's calmed down a little bit because today the oncologist feels we can wait another month to recheck blood work and the CT scan and then go the surgery and chemo route. At least this way we can celebrate the holidays together before she goes into another round of terrible cancer crap...such a relief.

Ever since I got a scary text from her Thursday afternoon I have gone through a roller coaster of emotions and honestly can't believe I came out the other side 2 lbs lighter. I can thank my friends for that - I truly do have the best friends on the planet and I am SO lucky. After all who else would listen to my rantings and complaining and then stay on the phone with me for an hour and a half just so I didn't run to McDs and binge? Or talk to me for an hour and check on me every day even though they were sick (hugs to Jen). That's dedication because everyone knows I can TALK. I wanted to binge my brains out Thursday on my way home from a work seminar that didn't have me leaving White Marsh until 9:00 pm....yeah insanity. Thank goodness for Kevin for talking me off the ledge and letting me rant like a lunatic, although I know I could have called many others and they would have given me the same support and have in the past <3

Three years ago I wouldn't have even stopped to pick up the phone to ask for help...I would have driven directly to the nearest fast food joint and shamefully binged in seclusion, cried, felt guilty about my binge and the cycle would have continued the next day. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Straight to fat jail for me in the form of a food binge. But not now!! I have control of my own life.

And in some good news....Jen and I went shopping at the White Marsh mall yesterday and it was a BLAST! It's really amazing to be able to shop in the same stores as my fit friends FINALLY and be able to just try on cute party dresses because you want to and not burst into a puddle of pathetic fat girl tears because you can't find anything that fits. I've been there so many times before and felt so left out and miserable but that has come to an end.

I love how this dress looked and it made me feel awesome- but not enough to part with $100 for it- so here's a picture! Now looking at it I see all these flaws but I don't care because it's a size 16 and I haven't worn that dress size since I can remember. And this thing was FITTED. Happy day at Macy's!

I can't believe I just put it out there to the world my dress size, but I am damn proud of that and you better believe I will be shouting it to the world when I am a size 10!!