Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Put down the fork....

Yeah....that's how I've been feeling this week.

I was doing well in the food department and then Sunday night happened.  I stayed at the farm in preparation for an early morning workshop I was teaching in Newark- would save me 40 minutes of sleep in the morning. Well worth it!

But let me back up a few steps....Jen Huang came to visit!!!!

Jen with Piney
It was absolutely awesome having her here visiting from NYC!  She stayed with us Friday night after coming in on the megabus to the White Marsh park and go- how convenient!!  It's nice having a guest room with a bed so we can have guests here comfortably.  We spent all day Saturday together which was fantastic, of course.  We had a nice lazy omelet breakfast before heading out to visit the farm.  My mom was so thrilled to have her so we hung out there for a good couple hours while I worked with Indy on the lunge line and we all played with the horses in the backyard.  He's still learning this whole going in circles around me thing so I've been walking with him while mom holds the line in the middle.

Bella wanted to help.....which at times made me want to throttle her because it was mega distracting for Indy.  But, it is also good for him to have lots of distractions to practice in that setting.

My handsome man :)

After some great times at the farm, we headed to Fair Hill for a nice hike.  Big thanks to Jen for sending me all these awesome pictures!! :D  We had a nice little hike around the covered bridge orange trail then headed back home for a quick fresh up before dinner downtown with Yao- her cousin.  I hadn't seen her since high school so it was great to catch up with her and we had a tasty dinner with a harbor view.

Where did all the leaves go?

On the trail

On Sunday, Mom and I went on an absolutely beautiful trail ride at Fair Hill.  I was on Dancer, while she rode Piney.  Of course I got some serious running on and we had a blast.  Seeing a theme for the weekend?  We even got to see Kate and Imad that night and hear all about their trip to Morocco- some great pictures!

So...why the food problem?  Once Kate and Imad left I had a small amount of ice cream- which I had planned into my day knowing that mint chocolate chip would be calling my name.  And then......I went bonkers.  I had a little snickers pumpkin, then another one, then a fun sized bag of M&Ms.  Then a handful of pretzels with a spoonful of peanut butter and some croutons....

Yeah.  I had a full-on binge.  I actually felt totally out of control for the first time in ages.  And the weird thing is...I really don't know what brought it on.  I had a great weekend and felt good.  The ice cream before was delicious and I felt satisfied.  Although, this type of binge only happens in one place- the farm.  Having access to all these foods I never have in the house and in an environment where I know it's "naughty" makes me want to do it that much more.  Crazy Colleen.

Monday I regained control and tried to get some extra activity in after a day full of driving- by walking around the Tyson's Corner mall shopping. lol.  But gosh, this is frustrating and very humbling.  The reality is I have an overeating disorder and I will always struggle with that addiction to binging.  Now I need to forgive myself and move on.

Have you ever had an "out of body" eating attack?  What did you do to stop it?


  1. I noticed I have eating attacks when my husband works late. In my screwed up head (it will always be messed up) if no one sees me doing it, it's not as bad. What keeps me on track better is not eating after dinner. One late night snack can lead to two...

  2. Honestly, it's easier not to eat late at night when you're home. It makes me more accountable. :-)