Monday, November 28, 2011
The never ending mental battle
But the king of negative thoughts is centered around my running ability. I thought for a long time that I could NOT run a 12 minute mile and that I would always just be a jogger not a real runner. Then I did, during the first mile of my first 5k race. So....that was just in my head after all. I thought there was NO way I could run at 5.5 mph on the treadmill. Then I did, a month ago with Emily during a killer speed interval workout. Again...my mind games holding me back. Running outside is also nearly impossible for me, but I fought through my head on Thursday and had a solid run outside for the first time in years and it felt great! And last but not least I thought there was no way I could do a 12 minute mile on the treadmill because the only reason I ran that fast during the race was adrenaline- until I did just that today. My self doubt needs to take a hike and leave me alone.
Can you see all these excuses and how they hold me back because I don't believe in myself?! So frustrating! Today Emily said that I will be running at 6.0 mph on the treadmill and that is our new cardio goal to get me comfortable there. My eyes bugged out and my brain started immediately telling me all the reasons why I couldn't run that. And then I realized....that's not that much faster than 5.5 and I CAN do it! I am only 2 lbs away from 200 lbs lost forever- I can do anything!