I realize in the grand scheme of Colleen's life, tonight wasn't the worst night, or even bad in comparison to old Colleen. But I am no longer old Colleen. PERIOD. I am nothing like her, and just thinking of how I was then and where my health was makes me feel nauseous. Or maybe that's the after affects of all the food I ate tonight....
|Why are you so delicious?|
Yeah, I destroyed some Stacy's pita chips and salsa....plus carrots and red pepper hummus....and 94% ff popcorn...and a huge fruit salad....and a weight watchers mini fudge bar....and a TBSP of peanut butter....and a 90cal fiber one brownie. That was all after my very filling dinner of a chicken soft taco, green beans, and potatoes.
Needless to say my tummy feels like this right now...
Actually, my stomach felt like that an hour ago and I very impressively ignored it and kept eating. I know, you are thinking- why would you do that?
So what started this you ask, aside from the fact that I haven't been able to run during this beautiful fall weather? Today I went to a ww meeting and had a gain ---> 1.4 lbs up! I was expecting a gain soon but I've been cutting back on my food in response to my lower activity level. But +1.4lbs?!?! That just plain sucks- no ifs, ands, or buts. I can say all I want that I'll lose it- which is true- but it doesn't make it any less frustrating.
So the entire drive from WW to the gym I was PISSED. The meeting tonight was about changing habits and I got zero inspiration, which is rare for me. Usually simply hearing affirmation of what other are doing really helps me but I really heard nothing inspiring tonight....and there was something about the leader that was just....fake. She seemed nice enough, but I just didn't feel any warm and fuzzies PLUS I was feeling down about my gain, duh! Not a good combination when what I needed tonight was either some inspiration or a kick in the ass.
I'm glad I at least drug my sorry butt to the gym tonight and got some (minimal) sweat out on the elliptical and tortured my abs through a max effort ab workout before doing my foam rolling and 20 minutes of stretching for physical therapy. This whole not being able to do a difficult workout sucks.